Voicing (A Poem Bought Online)

Vis-à-vis. clever via null and void vernacular, veering from one end of a particular spectrum to another, my voice has the register of a violently vibrating out-of-control velociraptor sex toy(bought from Temu) dancing with General Pinochet, while Sia she dangles from her dang chandelier (bought from Wish). She's unstoppable—unless she's napping. If today is not the day she is unstoppable today. Is it a suggestion—mere interjection—a ramblification? This is not Keats. This is assault with a deftly unsheathed Thesaurus (bought from Aliexpress). Just say how hard when I say hump. Wait, I mean jump. Just say jump when I say how high.

Ocular occupational hazards include blurring what is 'the real' and 'the fake', 'the faux de vie' and 'the la-de-da'. I wish I could explain that line more, but analytics are a bore. We don't need over-analytical, pedantic theorising bastards interpreting our lines—our property, with all the aplomb of a gyrating gimp-masked Styrofoam cup-man. My talent lies not between my thighs. But between my eyes, behind the skin, and the complex bone work. The inner workings of a mad half-genius, half-pescatarian—a raging carnivore at heart. My brain is my best friend, cohort, and nemesis all in one fun, spongey package. Half-hearted—I know what that means. Half-hearted—I know what that's not. Give me speed, give me dope, give me a fine glass of Merlot.

Colin is a name you give to a hamster. Colon is the thing the hamster exits, though hopefully not you're own damn colon. Coal is the thing—the most important thing—to the old and the tired.

Anglers fish, Anglerfish hunt, don't be a c-. We don't have time for whining and moaning, hypothesising and groaning. Offended? I don't care. Butthurt? I care even less.

Let's all get in the mud pit(bought from the dump) and have ourselves an orgy.

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Thanks for reading!

Author's Notes: This is my final entry into D.K. Shepard's wonderful Unofficial Vocal Acrostic Challenge. More information can be found at the link below. This is for the "Lighthearted Laughs" category. Obviously. And if it reads as offensive. Know that the first version was even worse. Baha. Sorry for posting all three around the same time, but I have other deadlines to meet beyond Vocal and wanted to make sure I got something in for this challenge!

Here are other things: