Virago

Feel suited for feeling unsuitable,

Like disliking me is easy to do,

I’m convinced: the results indisputable,

I tremble in the blank face of you.

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Shall we remap all the memories?

Draw X on the places it stings?

Oh, my frowningly felt disappointments,

Are all problems created by me.

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I think that I’m liked, perhaps also loved,

But I'm certain I could walk out the door,

Things would be easier without me here to hover,

And say stupid things, nothing more.

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My selfishness is far too fixed,

They don’t seem to like what they’ve got,

But I respect my return-package post stamp,

And nod along to these feelings of rot.

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Weak smiles and weak understanding,

Poor attempts to curb what I say,

Hearts dashed on the door and the landing,

Glass shards of me everyday.

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Don’t know how to ask you to love me,

I’ve tried, seems to be without use,

I’m asking for excuses to want me,

Begging to know what to do to improve.

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I’m tired of feeling half-loved,

Yet still servicing you with my smiles,

I live shields-up and well-hunted,

In fear of who you’d ruin somehow.

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So please. Just say what’s required,

Tell me what you think of all this,

I break and I fold in the quiet,

With my flaws clutched tight in my fist.