Vessel

21 years, 10 months, two weeks, one day

You were born

Simple minded, incapable, unknowing

A tangle of wants, needs, likes and dislikes

Feeling more than you thought

There was your spirit, the breath of life-- which loves and endures

Then there was me, your forever home

I am an astronomical amount of atoms

a universe of cells

Creating neurons and blood vessels, organs and muscles

All to make that which is me. Or you?

Us.

I took a breath for us and held you inside, hugged you close

I was the tiny hand you used to reach. The legs that kicked, the belly that stretched

I made the strangled, guttural voice that was your panicked cry, your chortle of delight

I am the skin that feels

In our own unique ways we grew, we learned. I made room for you to do more, be more

Sitting up, chewing, walking

My lips formed your thoughts

You grew more complex. You made yourself at home. A symbiotic relationship formed as we grew and learned to care for me

No matter where you went, or what you did, I was there too

When your mother went to sleep at night, even when you weren’t consciously aware of the waking world around you

No matter where you go, what you do, I am with you

I was there. I am here.

The one place from which you will never move

Each day, you have me with you.

When you have a home. Even if you don’t.

I carry you, prop you up.

I house the weight in your chest

The thrill in your belly

What hurts and what feels good or weird or familiar or foreign

That ache in your knees from that day on the roller skates

The tingle up your neck when someone scratches right there

That festering feeling in the very pit of the stomach, from that thing you won’t talk about

Sometimes, you hate me. For being too much of this, not enough of that.

You treat me badly, starve me, fill me with toxins, hurting us

You wish me different-- you tear my hair out and gnash my teeth in disgust and frustration

You feel trapped in me

But do you not know, That I am the temple of the spirit within you?

A beautiful miracle of a thing

That can love and know love

That can feel, imagine, create

And do you not know all I do, without you giving a thought?

I am the heart that pumps blood, oxygen being sent to all the parts that need it

The gut that digests food,

Metabolizing nutrients

The muscles and joints that let you move.

When your insides twist and ache from grief or fear, I hold it for you

Keeping everything inside

I burn so you have somewhere to feel the pain

Extending arms and strong legs,

Watching eyes and expanding chest

Curves and angles

And brain, always always working

Vessel for the mind and spirit