Until... Or Worse...

I've been given desires, but

for what?

To be teased by my own wants?...

judged by my own wishes,

and tortured, by my own thoughts?...

certainly not‐

right?...

Desires are gifts‐

right?...

Until, they turn against...

or worse...

simply disappear.

They've left with nothing behind—

Sporadically, they return simply for the sake of my torment...

I'd rather they be absent then work to bring me to my end‐

but in that end...

what's the difference?

Why would I prefer them to be gone than to turn against?...

Why do I so desperately seek escape?...

A question I have yet to answer.

I know...

numbness was never enough,

and neither absence‐

and although I might make such a, dangerous wish...

that too, is a...

Desire—

Rooted in, and grown from what?...

Trust Issues,

Fatal Attractions,

Poisons,

Deceived by my own heart,

lied to by my own mind,

led astray by my own eyes,

killed by my own lusts...

and my feet have certainly done their part, but...

With Desire's burning grip at my throat,

and vice versa...

this is no longer a war of attrition‐

the scars that surround me show that this place has not been for anything but battle...

Such is life within the walls of this Burning Paradise‐

The face in mirror holds matching wounds

and the heart behind such,

matching hurts‐

is that the purpose of this "gift?"

Forgive my doubt, my rage, and my "pride", but...

Is this what these grounds are for?

War?...

certainly not‐

right?...

Desires are gifts‐

right?...

Until, they turn against...

or worse...

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Thank You For Reading!!!

Here are some similar stories of mine, that I hope and want to be able to meet people where they're at in whatever they're going through.