"Unlucky Number Seven, Part 1"

World’s Worst (Roommate)

1) “I sell cars, but midnight polka is my passion.”

2) “I locked myself inside the house again…”

3) “Correction, I was charged with murder, but found ‘not guilty’ by reason of insanity.”

4) “This penny jar should cover my share of the rent. Let me know if it comes up short.”

5) “I subsist on beans, cabbage, and curry.”

6) “My feet sweat twice as much as the average man’s.”

7) “If it’s brown, flush it down?!” Boy, do I have egg on my face!

World’s Worst (Pickup Lines)

1) "You would make a gorgeous skin suit."

2) "Was your father a thief, or did something die in here?"

3) "We’re going to make such beautiful babies!"

4) "You know, we’re not cousins by blood…"

5) "Can I buy you a drink…Lend me a few bucks?"

6) "Come here often? (beat) Me too, sometimes in the stall, but mostly behind the dumpster…

7) "Don't you recognize me from the free clinic!"

World’s Worst (Doctors)

1) “Don’t bleed, or I’ll faint.”

2) “I put the practice in practicing medicine.”

3) “One Oxy for you, one Oxy for me. One Oxy for you…”

4) “Mister Mills, you’re BMI is ideal, no homo.”

5) “Schizophrenia is a woke word for ‘demon possessed.’”

6) “Gas, grass, or ass, nobody rides for free.”

7) “Your H-I-V test came back positive. Wait, you’re not Paul Weller! You, Sir, need to eat more fiber!”

World’s Worst (Make-A-Wish)

1) "I wish to be a Congolese child soldier…"

2) "Let’s visit that farm upstate so I can see Rover one last time?"

3) (whispering) “Finish me before the cancer does.”

4) "I want Amber Heard to shit on my bedsheets."

5) "I want to drink beers with daddy when he finally comes home from buying cigarettes."

6) "I want my foreskin returned, and reattached, before I pass."

7) "Promise me that Donald Trump will stand trial for his crimes, whether he’s elected or not.”