UNLESS

I claimed you though God had not ordained you.

Planned and convinced myself I was your wife.

You’d been forth coming with your identity

Yet I turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the truth.

You took what I offered under protest at first.

Soon settling into the benefits and the gain.

I pretended not to notice your wanderings

convinced I could hold you and change your mind.

There was nothing I wouldn’t do you were mine

if only in my demented desires.

Wanting to see only good in you

willing to lose my heart and soul in the pursuit.

How did my Mr. Right become so wrong

I’ve asked in the lonely midnights.

Then the answer came quietly in the dark

“You claimed him, but I did not ordain him.”

I had to yield to His will and admit that the

break up was really a breakthrough

And so now I sit delivered from devastation,

no matter how much I wanted and dreamed of you.

Misery had a name and a blame.

It hurt to be wrong about the voices in my head

that proclaimed you, the One as I swore it

was God’s voice!

And it was God’s voice! He was shouting

until I heard and until I surrendered.

You were my blessing, I was certain.

Sent just for me.

Out of nowhere you came.

My life, my love and you wanted me.

It didn’t matter that you’d never said it, never showed it

You were meant to love me…but…

God did not ordain it. He did not send you.

It didn’t matter what I wanted to believe.

God’s whispers in my ear were not of joy but of doom.

He loved me enough to warn me until I listened.

Daring to grieve and feel the pain.

Desiring God’s will more than mine I took the hit.

Why? Because I would not have you unless

God sent you and ordained you!