Twin Flame?

Every time I go on TikTok I always get at least one tarot reading telling me you're on your way to me

A reading telling me that you're working on yourself or that you're trying to understand your feelings for me

I wish I didn't believe in things like this, in things like twin flames, because sometimes I feel stupid as fuck

But I do

I want to believe you're on your way to me or on your way back like they claim you are

Because every fucking video is telling me we had it good

Yet its been fucking weeks and I haven't gotten even the slightest sign

And I know everything works in divine timing but I hate this

I hate the constant waiting and what-ifs

Of course, I'm happy with myself

But god fucking damnit I want to be able to hold you and love you

I want to be able to spend time and make memories

I want to feel something on nights I feel nothing

I want to feel the warmth of your love, the strength of our love guiding us through life, helping me when my emotions get the best of me

I want to help you with things you haven't yet told me

So please, tell me you're on your way to me

Give me a sign

I just hope you come soon because honestly, I'm starting to give up on the idea of love

I'm starting to believe that maybe I won't find you at all

But I'm only 21...

I shouldn't feel this way yet

I struggle with this feeling...

I'm constantly comparing myself to my family and their love lives

My parents found each other in their early 20s, my brothers found the people they love and want to marry by 20...

So what's taking me so long?

Why am I so different?

Every time someone asks where you are, I never have an answer I believe

I'm always saying I haven't found anyone yet but I've met some great guys, they just aren't you

I'm starting to question if you're even out there

Even if you are I always ruin good things because I can never ever be happy

I'm always afraid of getting hurt

I push people away

So why am I surprised I'm alone?

Yet there's a part of me constantly saying "they're not the one" when I meet someone

I've only ever felt secure once

Yet I fucked that up too

Nobodys you

So I'll wait and keep getting these readings...

I'll keep getting these from my own readings...

Until you appear...

If you appear...