Twelve

Twelve

Twelve years old

Toes hang over the edge

They look down to see a mountain of rocks

The wind blows their long auburn hair around

They take a deep breath, unable to cry

Trauma, sexual assault, abuse, neglect

This twelve year old knows those words too well from experience

Twelve, only twelve and homeless… again

Too traumatized to sleep because the man that provides a roof watches

Tortured by hunger

Too guilty to eat the food of others

Trivial they find the thoughts of their classmates

Tested, interrogated by the counselor

Too terrified of foster care to speak up

The nightmares of memories flood the twelve year old mind

The death of their grandpop, their protector

The hands that have hit and touched their once innocent body

They’ve scrubbed and scrubbed, yet

The stench of the horror remains

Telling the truth risks too much

They think of how no one cared enough to notice

Their smile like curtains covering a stage

Tricking everyone with great talent

Their toes peak over the roof’s edge

Time to decide their fate

They slowly lift their foot into the air

They’ve made their decision

They will be free of pain

Terrifyingly calm they continue their step

Suddenly as they go to fall a gust of winds blows them back

Landing them flat back on the roof

Emotions erupt

Tears flow

Body shakes

Pain is released

“What would grandpop think?”

“Who would take care of my brother?”

Their brother, that’s the push they need to stay

They lay there breathing, thinking

Their friend yells to them

“My dad doesn’t want us on the roof anymore”

They stand up as if nothing happened

They smile and say, “I’ll be right in”

Be the gust of wind

Never trust the curtains of a smile

Think before you say

“Twelve year olds can’t be depressed”