Turquoise Tranquility

So, you wanted to get to know me?

Who am I in the world?

I am the girl who stood alone in large crowds,

I am the girl who scarred herself in the school restrooms,

So I can avoid being seen,

It was the only place I wanted to be.

Only the sound of a voice crying out without a face,

Haunting yet soothing, no one can help me,

Not even the therapist I was seeing.

Now, who am I?

I am the black woman who survived domestic violence,

The one who bleeds red waiting to die.

The only colors I saw was black and purple on my body,

These were the endless nights of corporal punishment,

Thinking I was a human error,

Here I am, a Guinea pig of today's era.

I learned fast by being amongst my elders,

Listening to the wisdom, following the truth,

I wanted to be nurtured by their greetings.

I learned that my existence is nothing more than a homeless man asking for forgiveness,

I have seen broken women and shattered men,

I chose to love the rainbow for my own gains,

To fulfill a fantasy of one of a kind love,

To be the Vixen in the bedroom,

To be the guys' homeboy just so they wish they had me,

Following the code showed me nothing,

I felt lost in my sorrows,

I knew how fluent I was,

I hide who I was,

I disappeared from the judgments,

I figured if hell was the place I'll end up,

Then the fire was one more thing I had to survive,

No matter how far in the spectrum,

I will always love the rainbow, color has a story to tell,

There I will always be accepted,

Even without being born with a talent,

I can't dance, I can't sing, I can't lead,

Pathetic child, you like a pon,

I am here. Welcome to my story.

Some say I am a lifesaver, that I am a product of the devil,

I am no one other than the gay/lesbian who seeks attention.

I honor this moment to represent the poetry within,

Even when the outcome becomes bleak,

Everyone should hold on to the colors they feel dignity,

I am Turquoise Tranquility,

A mixture of blue, green, and earthy stones,

Calm, rare, and often mimicked from the authentic,

This color represents no category,

Ocean energy, uplifting, and hippie trend,

Yet, it's the color that needs no attention,

No company, the color turquoise completes my imagery.

I feel connected to the galaxy,

The story was,

who am I?

Well, I am Courtney,

The one who died and came back ALIVE.