Tug of War

I think I’m going crazy, or maybe I’m just lazy?

I cry and yet I laugh, I feel as if it’s just a bluff

I complain and yet I do no action, What is this called? A chemical reaction?

Every-time I try to break free, I can’t help but go back to thee

I feel stupid and I won’t deny, I just need to let out a big fat sigh

I tell my friends your hurtful ways, “that’s because your stubborn” is what they say..

Aware of this hurt, I feel as if I’m being burnt…

Burnt to lie, burnt to die, burnt to hide what I deny

Its hard to deal, this feels so unreal

Why can’t it just be perfect, instead of having a defect?

To be happy, instead of feeling sappy?

I don’t know what’s up with me, I don’t understand why you can’t see

I guess you're blind, this boggles my mind!

You’re such a fool to not know, I guess your pretty slow

More over and more less, I give this heart and mind a rest

Confused by this unreal feeling, enough to break me and have no meaning

So helpless, I really am. I feel like Sean Penn in “I am Sam”..

Enough with words, enough with scribbles

I’ll let my self fall and dribble.

I’m done, I’m out, it’s over. I hope in time I can be sober.

Back and forth, left and right, I can’t let go of this ungrateful sight

Giving my self a replenish, now this poem is finished.