Trying To Remind Myself...

I am woken from my sleep

My much needed break from reality

I hear a guy at my neighbor’s house telling his dog to speak

Mere hours after I was finally able to drift off

To silence my mind for just enough time

To doze off

I have been disturbed from my little last bit of rest

Trying to remind myself

That yes I am truly blessed

I ask but why

I drag my tired body out from my nice cozy bed

And head downstairs to the cold leather couch

With hopes of getting just a few more hours of shut eye

If only it were that simple

I battle within my own mind every day as I struggle to stay sane

The thoughts in my brain continuously try to pull me under

I feel trapped beneath the rubble of my once so called life

I fight, I claw trying to crawl out from this pit of fine dirt

But all I get is more rocks

More rubble

More dirt falling down from above

In the end I realize I'm not going anywhere

It's as if I'm stuck in a bog made of Quicksand

The more I try to free myself from my current situation

The less free I am

I lay there

Still trying to fathom my own perplexion

My mind goes blank

As delusions come flooding in

I hear a whisper telling myself I should try to do the impossible

Return to a life I am no longer equipped for

It has felt like decades have passed since I was once my old self

Standing on top of the world

No worries in sight

So I stand tall

Look up to the sky

Close my eyes

Then say "Creator, I give you my all!"