Torn Apart

As if it were struggling in repair

At the bottom of despair

I heard a heartbeat race

There, in that cavernous place

I assumed it was just my own heart

Especially in that dark

Which kind of dies anyway, every now and then

And I wondered to myself “How am I here again?”

I was blinded by the pitch black, so deep

The silence drowning me, as if I were asleep

A nightmare from the start

Except the faint thumping of a broken heart

It haunted me as I tried to navigate my way

I always find a way out, to the break of day

Clawing at the walls within my head

Far away from all the spiteful things every lover has ever said

Nowhere to run from myself down there, just let it be

Oh, all the ways in which I just could have not been me

Nothing more to hide of all my flaws and mistakes

Suddenly, peace heavily outweighed the need to hold on to all this hate

Isn’t all love a mirror in which we sneer and hold?

A reflection of our bare souls, our dark sides, so bold?

I am not unequal, unlovable or bereft

A hollow shell with nothing left

I am not just the sum of my scars

For I am human, who has the DNA of stars

So I pushed and pulled, ripping at the dirt lined wall

I know that I once poured myself, my soul, my all

And they drank it with a sharp toothed smile

And I know, I’ve been here for a while

But I will not stay for I have loved before, a time or ten

Deeply, falling into the bowels of the lions den

This fiery dance I do at whatever the cost

I’ve always gained back tenfold whatever I’ve lost

Finally, I broke through to the light, hope, a door

And then I stumbled over your heart beating on the floor

I never understood the purpose to all the times I’ve been torn apart

Until I saw you there, as I handed you

your heart