Together Wolf

A howl every evening,

Heavy breaths creeping down the crook of my neck;

Light drowned out

By darkness.

I see them ahead,

I see the approach,

I see them pass by.

.

Alone...Alone but encased,

I see the pack, protecting,

The stench of death from the freshly killed prey,

Black coarse fur, piercing eyes-

But I still sit in solidarity,

Watch them grow without me.

.

Lonely causing fear;

My only friend.

I sit on the hilltop, looking down I see,

Shaking...crying...I see,

Can't move; a stone statue.

.

Stagnant, unable, incapable,

Never enough,

Never a part of the pack, wanting to be a runaway, scared of consequences,

I see myself, the lone wolf within friend and family groups...

Pretending to be one...

Knowing I'm two.

.

Feeling of death sweeps over,

Heart attack...Stroke...Arrhythmia,

Tensing alone from the seen preoccupied pack.

.

Panic...Death near, blackness creeping up;

No air, suffocation in a breathable atmosphere,

Trapped in a box, readily buried,

I see, the pack, I see them approach,

Leaving...going...Goodbye...

.

Then clarity?

No death, no box,

A 6-foot hole behind me,

Blackness retreating,

I can't see, I couldn't see,

I made it up, my mystery...

But for togetherness, I'm still seeking...

Lost in a pack not made for my mould.