To You, For You, Thank You

When you are born a dreamer the world has a way of putting people in your life to stand as pillars.

They are your place to rest when you fly a little too close to the sun,

which you will do, a lot.

They are your voices of reason that you won’t listen to but at least they care enough to try.

And you,

Are my tallest and most brilliant pillar.

The only way I can describe “the darkness” as I call it is to think of yourself in a room darker than black.

You can’t see anything in any direction.

You feel lost, scared and bombarded by nothing but silence and internal wars.

It’s so very cold so you’re crouched in what must be a corner, naked, with a tattered blanket around your shoulders.

Oh and it’s probably raining.

It’s a state of being and not living.

You reach, desperate for warmth and light but all you’ll find is flesh.

Flesh that is strange and unfamiliar but its flesh like yours and maybe it’s capable of telling its own secrets.

You never learn anything new though.

You become dependent on the energy that you can no longer create yourself so when you are alone its so much colder and instead of a light drizzle the sky has fully opened up only for you.

Soon you’ll train yourself to be numb, to accept the darkness as your life.

Drinks will burn your throat as they go down but feign a sense of warmth and bravado that you crave.

You can be seen laughing the night away.

But the second the door closes on your existence you cry out only to be met with the echo.

Sometimes there are brief flashes of light but you learn that they are nothing more than a small token to keep you alive a little longer.

Little sparkles that make it bearable but fizzle out so quickly.

That’s what you were supposed to be a little sparkle, a little hope, a little more time.

But from the start;

You saw the darkness for what it was.

You’d watch it consume me and stand your ground.

You’d come for the fight.

You waited,

You watched,

You were patient,

And when the time came you brought your light and let me borrow just enough to keep my head above water

But,

I was fearful after all of that time.

I even tried to go back underground where it was safe and comfortable,

But you the time to make sure I always held the light in my eyes.

If I just kept the light in my eyes then the darkness around me didn’t stand a chance.

You always saw me that way.

The sun that had been snuffed out.

You somehow knew I’d shine again.

You’d let me lean on your shoulder until I could stand on my own.

So,

For driving away the darkness,

For seeing me at my worst, first, and loving me through it,

For dancing with my demons and winning every time,

For choosing me despite the shell I’d become,

For seeing something in me I didn’t see myself,

For allowing me to grow and then growing with me,

For never giving up,

For pouring yourself into every single second since you first saw me cowered in the corner, clothed in darkness...

Thank you.

Brightest of all lights.