To The Kids: Feel Your Feelings

To the kids who grew up like me without the vocabulary to explain to full-grown adults why their comments made them feel like their culture was less-than;

To the kids who were expected to explain to a room full of privilege why freedom of speech is not a given;

To the kids who were told that their hurt was not loving, that needed to have more grace;

To the kids who are trying to figure out which of their followers would fault them for being skeptical of whiteness;

To the kids who are watching people they care about either stay silent or defensive;

To the kids of colour who grew or are growing up in white spaces, feel your feelings. Feel angry. Feel confused. Feel frustrated. Feel happy. Feel what you feel, and don't apologise.

This is an open note to the kids of colour out there who are full of feelings.

I wrote the first draft of this post in 2021, but weeks passed before I had the guts to share these words with anyone. I didn't want to risk being misunderstood. I didn't want to risk losing people or places. Two years later, and a part of me wonders if there is enough nuance and gentleness in my words.

Unfortunately for me, honesty and vulnerability don't come without risk.

So instead of sharing these carefully chosen words, I apologised. Over and over to myself for feeling what I felt. "Maybe I'm being too sensitive. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong." Never mind that I would never ask a friend to apologise for feeling hurt or confused.

I could say so much more, but I'll leave it at this: if you're out there feeling lots of feelings because of what has been said or done to you, that's okay. And you don't have to apologise.

I am learning to accept that feeling my feelings is the first step to healing and moving forward.