To the creator of the Sicilian Defense

You found a way to gain some traction by creating that perfect asymmetrical look on the board of life

I can’t go to the center, pawn majority is not in my territory

Your Sicilian Defense is mastered by

Such a powerful set of attacks that masterfully capture the essence of something benign, old-fashioned and tired but

Really is done well, I’ll give you props

For when you come by the ending and you’ve watched me capitulate

Letting me feel like any countermeasure is a counterfeit, a loser

Letting me know that you’ve counted on me to fail

I’ll just keep you believing that you won

It’s not the opening, it’s how I played the game quietly while you loudly shouted your way through the board

Fuck this game

I’ll beat you the old-fashioned way

My compliments to the creator of the Sicilian Defense

But times must change.