Through The Storm

People judge me, but then again they don't understand

Stab me in the back, while they lend me a hand

They assume I'm like them , then stereotype

Like I'm a soulless mannequin , a scarecrow full of hay

Do what you want because I'm tired of this trickery

Say what you want, while you're wishing you could be me

See what you don't understand is I love with a force

And the hate that I do give is justified of course.

I scream , cry , frustrated because I'm misunderstand

I am puzzled as to why you would want to change me

I'm proud to be me and I wont take that back

Love for my family, my friends,

I'd help a stranger of course.

I may not be what is seen to the naked eye.

And I may be in pain so I cover it with lies,

Outside I laugh , but inside I cry.

Yes there was trauma talk to me as if you know,

The nighmares, the post traumatic stress,

Everyday is changed for me as it stands.

Imagine closing your eyes and your dads lying there

Saying sorry, to forgive him, with a noose around his neck.

Imagine crying so hard that you sound like your screaming,

When you fall asleep you're with your family laughing,

Waking up to find that him being gone is the cold hard reality.

Through the storm, I fight for myself

With this He** I'm in, I'm gonna need some help

Why me Mr. therapist how did I deserve this

Where do I go from here?

Through the storm

How do I get through this ?

The truth that it'll always be there

A scar on my brain, Why should anyone care?

Please pain get out of here.

Look I'm existing , like another one of their statistics,

I am unique and my own person,

so thanks I think I'll be my own little critic.

You don't know how I think, and when I cry in the dark.

You never see my lying on the ground, fighting for my life

See the devil is my enemy and my other personality

Telling me I can't cross the bridge away from my tragedies.

Waking up feels like that movie groundhog day

Because I wake up reliving the pain of my father leaving my side

Tell me again, I'm dramatic and how you understand my position.

Let the roles reverse now tell me you wouldn't crumble

I want you to tell me to get over it and that these feelings are trash

When I don't know if this he** I'm living in is ever gonna pass

See I watch the calendar pass the days, the months, the years

But in my mind every day its like I just found out your no longer here.

Don't come to me and tell me I'm healed

Never try to pretend you wear my shoes or even live in my skin

Trauma is real and the grieving is realer than ever

I shake and I shiver because every memory is an aftershock

Carry out until I die that you won't ever be around

It wasn't natural causes it was something so raw.

And all I ever used to think about is how I could be with you again,

But I come to and shake it off, because the devil can't win

I reach out to you when I close my eyes,

Being here in spirit is worse than having to say goodbye.

I can't hug you and see you, I can't

Get all my great wisdom and advice from you.

All I get now is memories,

Getting triggered from the thought of you.

Through the storm, I fight for myself

With this He** I'm in, I'm gonna need some help

Why me Mr. therapist how did I deserve this

Where do I go from here?

Through the storm

How do I get through this ?

The truth is that it'll always be there

A scar on my brain, Why should anyone care?

Please pain get out of here.

Through the storm, I can see

Through the storm I will believe

One day there will be sunshine

And ill look back and be happy

I will have risen up.

When I stand up and saqy,

Ive4 had enough