This Mess Of Thoughts

This mess of thoughts

A collective noun to describe 

What constitutes my mind

A chaotic collection

Of introspective

Thoughts clamouring 

The deeper recesses

And darkened corners

Of a place

That can be

Heaven or Hell

Impatiently waiting 

To be found

***

This mess of thoughts

Beguiling me

Inveigling themselves

Into my conscious mind

To catch my attention

To latch onto a mention

In the hope of finding a way out

Of this neuronic chaos

In a child's game of

I spy

***

This mess of thoughts

They conspire for and against me

Performing computations

Processing information

Eighty billion suns of

Boundless energy of

Dendrite

Node of Ranvier

Myelin sheath

Schwann cell

Axon terminal

Where will it ever end?

In inspiration?

***

This mess of thoughts

Of neutron neurons

Refining me

Defining me

Sometimes undermining me

Exploding in and out

Of themselves

Every single one

A microscopic Big Bang.

***

This mess of thoughts

Is where I feverishly search for one

Minuscule gem of an idea

Something I can longingly seize hold of

To lovingly shape and form

A thing of pure beauty

To show the expectant world

That here lies a creative mind with

A different way of seeing and being,

Freeing escapee thoughts

***

A gorgeous piece of coral at the bottom of the deep blue ocean

A blossoming flower in the dirt of the glorious life-giving motion

I kiss the melancholy moon in my search through the cosmic dust

For some heavenly gem, a brilliant diamond, or a sign of a long lost past.

***

Amidst all the commotion and emotion

Which surreptitiously infects

My ever enquiring mind

Which dissects and directs

A search for some treasure

With more than some measure

Of who and what and where and how I am

But behind it all,

I am just a mess of spurious thoughts.