this is the sum

***if you are in immediate danger, call 911. for confidential support and resources, you may contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233(SAFE)***

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this is the sum of some of my reasons:

a fractured occipital lobe and five stitches a year ago;

a busted lip on multiple occasions;

broken dishes and perpetual accidents;

his life improved standing on my shoulders;

his success came at my expense;

careless and intentional property destruction and damages;

for my injuries and suffering, additional insults;

an involuntary reduction to my wardrobe;

the distance at which he stayed while keeping me close;

my missing keys and wallet, and stealing my mail;

fraudulent charges on my debit cards;

the detriments to my health;

metamucil and macaroni his friends gave me;

and ninety percent constipation;

anxious as a one-forty-five resting pulse

leaking faucets and unplumbed pipes;

deflated tires and loosening lugs;

and for letting him in, only this emptiness is left;

driving thousands of miles at his request;

giving whatever he asked for and then told to go home;

betraying my trust with nothing but lies;

trigger points targeted as soon as disclosed;

being followed and harassed wherever i go;

privacy violated and a mischaracterized victim;

being called AIDSwhore, among other degradations;

my boundaries and limits called histrionics;

the truth coming out twisted from his lips;

the double standards and misled implications;

being told nobody would believe me, anyway, if i say a thing;

because everyone hates me;

because he begged me, "let me love you;"

and then the ways he tried to make me;

because i am the problem, he says;

and when he says was the best i will ever get;

but i know i am better than that;

worth so much more than his devaluation;

so, now, i must be here for myself.