This is a 2-Way Street

i had a sticker collection when i was a child

scratch n sniff stickers

garbage pail kid stickers

fuzzy googly eye stickers

tom sellick/magnum p.i. stickers (don’t ask)

hundreds of stickers that i shared and traded with friends

and i kept them in a big fancy book

that i was

enormously proud of

all organized and categorized

but they just stayed in the book

i never stuck them to anything

i guess i never wanted that big of a commitment

but now, in my unadulterated adulthood....

i totally dig bumper sticker politics

like a moth to a flame

i carefully consider the message of the sticker

before purchase

i carefully consider the placement of the sticker

before peeling off the back

i carefully rub out the air bubbles and then

stand back

and relish in my newest addition

i remember the first bumper sticker i put on my 1997 white toyota tercel

a little rainbow line that said above it “girls kick ass”

i officially waved my gay flag

and i was proud too

i felt a sense of empowerment as i drove around town

but then i had to drive to oregon to visit my parents

and i found myself being very aware that i had marked myself

as a target for ignorance

and i was suddenly scared

it turned out that oregon was fine

no one’s head exploded

i didn’t get anything thrown at me

or my car

but

on the way back to santa rosa

i stopped to visit a friend of my parents’ in lakeport

and he came out to greet me

but instead of a warm welcome he said

“your daddy know you got that faggot sticker on your car?”

to which i replied

“i have to leave now”

and that was the last time i was in lakeport

it’s been about 12 years since then

and a few cars and several stickers later

i find myself getting more bold in my choices

as my education and self awareness increase

so does my willingness to stick

my current broom, i mean car, is a blue toyota scion

a little boxy roller skate looking car

or a clown car as one of my friends refers to it

and i commute in this car

from santa rosa

to san francisco

up and down the 101

i’ve stuck more stickers to this car than i have to any other

and i’ve gotten the most feedback

both verbal and nonverbal

from other drivers

most often it’s a thumbs up or a wide smile and knowing nod

from a fellow commuter

sometimes it’s a verbal recognition of our similar humor or politics in a warm

“love your bumper stickers” or “those are great”

its a quick passing where smiles linger in the parking lot or the gas pump

for a few moments and then we go about our day

with a reminiscent feeling that we are not alone in this big world

the best may be the group of friends that pull up behind me at a stop light and point and laugh and high five each other and then notice that i’m looking at them in my rearview mirror and they wave and bounce up and down with glee

but i’m not stupid or naive

this is a big world with lots people with whom i share the road

and we are all different

i see “trump 2020” stickers next to the “abortion is murder” sticker

i see “i have the right to bear arms” next to the “don’t tailgate me or i’ll flick a booger on your windshield”

i see swastika stickers and jesus stickers

"cowboy up" and "redneck and proud" stickers

and "land of the free because of the brave" stickers

and i take a big breath and continue on the path

trusting in the ideology that we are all proud citizens of a country that values

the first ammendment

but sometimes there is an individual that just needs to express themselves

directly

my wife was waiting for me to pick up a prescription and while she was waiting

a man walked up to the car, stopped, turned back to read all the stickers,

then knocked on the window

she rolled it down a few inches and he yelled

“you fucking ignorant hippy asshole” and continued walking

i came out of the pharmacy and her mouth was wide open in shock

after she told me what happened

my only response was

“i wonder which sticker he was referring to?”

to which my wife said

“all of them, honey, probably all of them”

now i’ve not once considered actually yelling at someone because of what

they’ve stuck to their car

sure, i have little private arguments in my head about certain life over choice stickers

but the fact remains

i enjoy my freedom to express my stickers

why would i trample on your freedom to express yours?

and while a good old fashioned “fuck you” through a car window is fairly quick and painless

let’s examine this beautiful little love note someone left for me in a parking lot of a grocery store in santa rosa

[see photo above]

“It’s always fun” double underlined

“reading bumper stickers of the intolerant left. By the way 100 million people were murdered in the 20th century by the left under Moo...” Moo? Oh, Mao.

“...under Mao, Pol Pot, Stalin and others. You’re in good company.”

wait a fricken minute crazy pants.

no where, no sticker says that “hey, I’m a big communist and I like to torture and kill people.”

no.

i stuck "reading is sexy" next to "my goddess gave birth to your god" next to "doing my part to piss off the radical right" next to "love is love" next to "HRC" next to "save the oceans & beaches"

nothing offensive. At least I don’t think so.

but maybe that’s the point here.

i think that “abortion is murder” stickers are offensive.

the phrase alone makes my skin crawl.

the fact that someone believes I’m a murderer angers me.

they put me in the same company with people that are in prison for shooting or stabbing or beating someone....

look, we choose to engage in bumper sticker politics because we have something to say.

about ourselves.

to others.

to others that share our beliefs.

to others that are undecided.

to others that don’t share our beliefs at all.

i have something to say.

and maybe the back of my car cruising up and down the 101

or tooling around town

is the biggest loudest stage i can think of

to say

that something.

and while i continue down the road of sticking my politics

on my bumper

i will keep reminding myself

this is two way street.