Things You Can't Say Out Loud....

I scream "I Hate My Life!", once again, as I battle with the catastrophizing thoughts that come barreling into my mind.

I'm reminded how I can't say that out loud... Can't or Shouldn't should be the question.

I have to stay hopeful, be grateful, filled with a huge amount of gratitude for all my blessings.

But when times are hard and you feel like you are being pulled down and dragged into the deep dark abyss ... well there really isn't much to hold onto.

Memories of better days are few and far between. So I grasp at my sanity as I try to flee from the emotional reality I am facing.

With the possibility of losing our family's home I can't stop the lingering thoughts of doom and gloom as they play on repeat over and over again inside my head.

I see my life and what it once was flash before my eyes... I guess it truly does not matter if you go fast or slow when we finally die.

There will still be the grief, the loss, the regrets, and the hurt. The things left unsaid and the feeling left unclaimed.

So I ask again are there things we can't say out loud... can't or shouldn't.

The only words I ever told my kids they could not say nor should ever use.... Never take the Lord's Name In Vein and Never use the word Hate! You can dislike something but we don't Hate anything.

I should have taken my own advice, but in all honesty I really did hate it! And yes I got scolded by one of my supervisors for saying it out loud... I Hated It!

Well then I say you should have Never asked me... would you rather have it that I Lied!

And I ask myself a second time... are there things we can't say out loud... can't or shouldn't.

I've always been the type to speak my mind! I've gone throughout life never feeling heard, but yet my ideas are always being claimed by another.

And if you do speak up, stand up for yourself there will be times where you can get mistreated.

I blurt out, I don't always think before I speak, I'm blunt and to the point. Bridges have been burned, Bonds broken, and Beliefs turned into disbelief.

With all the delusions and tricks being played on one's mind, dealing with bullies, manipulators, and narcissists in our daily lives maybe it's your turn to start asking yourself...

Are there things we can't say out loud... "can't or shouldn't."

I can tell you this, there probably are some things I can and more than likely will say, but I probably shouldn't...

Oops, Too Late!