The Work Will Never End

I hate getting my hands dirty

And having to wash them off

Over and over again

I can’t stand the sensation

Of dirt under my fingernails

Or trapped in the band of my ring

Or dust inside my eyes

Or earth inside my mouth

Better to stay inside

Better to cower and hide

Better to try to be content

With the grass and weeds outside

.

But I have wondered many a time

What would a garden look like

Growing, springing up, natural and wild

Taking root and flowering, leaves high

Praising the sky, pretty faces of flowers beaming

Critters creeping and birds singing

But I turn away from the window again

Retreat to the darkness within

And lament that nothing like that can happen

Because I can never go back and

The lies become the sun I never see

.

Until, one day, the hope of rays

Broke through my broken heart

Guarded and shielded, kept apart

From the dangerous world out there,

So I open the door before I am aware

That the Gardener is waiting for me

With His tools in hand, He has a plan

And is waiting for me to see

There is no need to fear

Because He will always be near

And He holds the promise of possibility

That my garden dream is real

.

He never stops smiling, gently and calmly

He asks me to follow His lead

He takes up a spade

He paves the way

To setting my soul free

.

First, we break ground

What is immediately found

Is that this will be a lot of work

I am unprepared

For what we’ll find there

I am underdressed

Unwilling to address

How long I was unable to share

The work of the garden

The soil has hardened

It was untended a very long time

The weeds have grown in

Rooted like mortal sin

The thorns have learned to climb

We hack them down

Wipe sweat from our brows

We plow and plow and plow

Toss the dirt to the side

Loosen rocks, overturn their faces

I balk at the bugs

I reject what I see with my eyes

Abandon my post, retreat many steps

Back towards the familiarity of the dark

The Gardener waits patiently

For me to return, he studies the bugs all the while

When I peek over His shoulder

He asks me to hold

The rock with the bug squirming around

He says it can’t hurt me, it’s only a baby

So I tentatively reach out with care

I take the rock, hold it way out in front

But I don’t let go or scream

The Gardener teaches me

About its subtle beauty

I lean into His words

It’s the first time I’ve head

About healing and how I have missed it

.

We continue to work

Carefully examine the hurts

Watering the soil with our tears

Away the critters go

We let the tears flow

I am slowly conquering my fears

Though I am covered in dirt

And weary of the work

I plow on after every rest

The soil is almost ready

After getting past the work most heavy

I let down my guard at His behest

.

After the break for a snack

We go right back

To digging and uncovering the truth

We find her down there

A mess of bones and hair

Destroyed in the time of her youth

I am horrified to see her again

We had never been friends

But the Gardener proposes new birth

We mourn her and we unfold

Her stories and heart of gold

We then bury her because of her worth

.

After such heartache, I am spent

My heart has been rent

I lay down on the dirt to cry

I always had a feeling

That I hadn’t been properly dealing

With the torment of how she died

The Gardener speaks gently to console

Reminds me what a heavy toll

The grief has taken on my mind

He takes my hand lightly

While the sun shines brightly

And promises what was lost He will find

He places in my palm a tiny seed

And from His hands, where He bleeds

New life flows abundantly

The garden seems small

But the flora grow strong and tall

Nourished by His fecundity

.

Though the work will never end

I am so glad to have my Friend

Who is by my side all the time

He lives with me in my home

Lighting up my broken bones

His love and healing are sublime

.

I was scared to ruin

The plot of land

Where I covered up

Every secret wound and sin

But to plant a garden of goodness

I had to let love in,

To let healing begin,

To conquer the darkness,

To let the light win.