The woman in me

Would it surprise you to know I'm not happy?

Survivors learn to search for the positive

and follow the tendrils of light

no matter what life throws at them

We take the setbacks and get right back up

hoping the next day will be better

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I welcomed you as a kindred spirit

another survivor, like me

I poured out my past and future dreams

into your warm, outstretched arms

trusting you to keep them safe

You were first a friend, then a lover

I opened my home to you and yours

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You walked in through my front door

covering the floor with a layer of dust

casting judgment on my keepsakes

twisting tornadoes out of small talk

I learned to filter my words

to soften and form them just so

I was tired of the roller coaster

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You tear me down just as readily as you raise me

Kiss me passionately, then cloak me in silence

all the while calling both love

You hear discussion as dissent

feedback as laying blame

I grieve our lost friendship-

the former comfort of feeling seen and heard

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I'm tuning into a far off radio station

straining to catch the familiar lyrics through the static

constantly tweaking the dial

waiting for clarity to return

hoping for a consistency of connection

The survivor in me would try for eternity

the lover in me would wait a lifetime

but the woman in me...

The woman in me steadies her breath and prepares.