The wind carried your body away

The wind carried your body away,

In wind your spirit lives.

There's this ancient folklore in mainland China, every home has a spirit.

The spirit of one's home, if ever harmed or broken, casts shadow to all members' fortune.

My home was not yet broken, but everyone was hanging on a thin thread, sticky but fragile.

There were no words to be said in each phone call, we stared at each other's faces, blank in emotion, embarrassed to call each other family.

My grandma once said, this family, even when together, is yet so far apart.

My grandma only had eight months to live when she said those words.

Tian is her last name, bearing the meaning of land, the vastness embracing all that live and walk,

nourishing her children, blessing all fruition.

It was the genes from this last name we inherited, that wrapped us inside, warmed our frozen souls.

As if afraid that she would be forgotten after death, we started to feverishly ask her about her past.

Her parents, her childhood, her experiences, her marriage.

The history of this family became a fascination, her essence became something we had to dig out and savour before the moment came.

Even with a heavy sadness under every joke, the lineage and connection within our home became clearer, the water of life started flowing.

My grandma said, she had one month to live, but the end of her life seemed to have saved this home.

Towards the end, the pain of being alive and the fear of being dead overwhelmed everyone.

How fascinating, a disease's power to unite mankind, the extreme suffering of life taking over any will to control.

In this pain birthed intimacy and strength, and freedom, freedom for the people who still had to walk this path.

A soul left, contracts ended, the image of the world transformed.

A family saved.

Through death we rebirthed, gratitude grew, and grace learned.

My grandma became a spirit we could not see, but could sense when we closed our eyes.

In each word said to another, in a gesture of care, in the smiles and tears, in all emotions and vibrations.

In wind she floats, kissing our souls.