The Way I Feel Now

Dam-busted waves, a tsunami crashing through my life

Tossing me like a cork on white water, bobbing and buffeting

Sinking in a maelstrom of sadness, slicing my innards

To pulp, grinding me away to nothingness; I am invisible

The way he makes me feel

Worthless. Soulless. Sad. My heart beats no longer inside me

I have died. Long-gone memories of love; to be cared for, truly cared for

A simple gesture: checking to ask that I’m okay; not used and abused

Day after day after day without a second glance from him

The way he made me feel

Courage spurred me on and like a warrior, I rose from the ashes

Phoenix-like, rearing my ugly, beautiful head above the waves

Hatred raging through me like a furnace; eyes fixated on escaping

I ploughed on, day after day after day until finally, I broke free

From the way he made me feel

I started life anew, shared a room in a stranger’s house

Taken in, a stray waif, broken and hollow

I was nurtured; she helped to heal the wounds that were

Sore and open from the way he had treated me, day after day

And I began to feel again

Love came unexpectedly; a bolt from the blue struck me down

Lights came on that hadn’t been lit in years, my heart danced and sang

I felt alive, happy, and full of love once again, the life and soul

Of the party that has now become my new life, day after day after day

That is the way I feel now

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This article was first published on Medium, where you can find more of my work. Get a weekly update from me in my village in England by signing up to Rosy's Ramblings? I post every Saturday and it's free! Thank you for your support.