The Things We Don't Talk About

There are two ways things turn out.

You lose a thing, you replace it with something else. It’s better than what you lost, you're happy.

You lose a thing, it doesn't disappear when it's replaced, not having it becomes as much of a presence as having it was.

You're told the things you can't forget about are meant to be in your mind- the simple aftermath of having loved somebody so deeply. You hold onto someone and someday that was supposed to be yours.

We are told to believe that not being able to let go of things we lose does nothing but prove how much we loved them in the first place, and I don't think this is true.

Living with a ghost, creating an idea that you need to hold onto- to fill a space or insecurity with- is using the idea of someone to fix something about yourself.

We love heartbreak, and we love putting it on ourselves. We're more nostalgic for things that never happened and we are grateful and presenting the things that are.

We start missing things we never had, that we just created in our minds, in the false, after-reality.

The things that are easily replaced are the ones that you haven't attached existential meaning to. This is to say; they’re the things you don't rely on to give you a sense of self.

The things that don't leave your head are not the ones that show you what's "meant to be"; they're the things that show you what you're still not okay with. On your own.

You know what unconditional love is? Unconditional love is loving someone even if they don't unconditionally love you in return- that's affection without pretense.

That's what we claim we are after, and yet we can barely grasp the idea.