I’m just going to post this because the day that I had today was beyond just an ordinary “good” day.
I have been struggling to believe in myself the way I used to for a very long time. I didn’t realize the gravity of the things that I was experiencing. I couldn’t figure out what was blocking me, stopping me, hiding me, and I grew fearful. That fear has gripped me for years. It manifested and actualized in my reality, and that …really sucked.
I have been on my own healing journey and I prayed, I cried, I questioned, and I disappeared. I felt ready... then I didn’t, the things I have experienced paved the way for me to help free you of bondage, fear, depression, confusion, sadness, unworthiness…And the thing about life is unpredictable. And I don’t know about you, but I feel like when it rains, it most certainly pours.
You deserve the life you envision. You deserve the friendships that make you feel seen, you deserve the relationship that you dream of. There will never be a perfect time to do the things that scare us, there will always be an excuse, and then when you turn around, you’re upset at the lack of progress. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my journey is that the power of God is very real.
I made a decision, I trusted him, even when I felt like I was still having doubts, even when I was questioning my own worth. Even through the emotionally devastating times that surely felt like it would end me. Yet, here I am sharing just a little bit of my testimony.
About the Creator
Catherine Nyomenda
I love writing. I love the swirl of words as they tangle with human emotions. I am a flexible writer and can write almost anything, do you need any help creating content? Well then, get in touch...
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DEMONS
I used to think that taming your inner demons was a matter of transcending them. I used to believe that the gnawing notion of "not good enough" would be silenced when I was able to move past my mind’s eye because of course, our inner demons do not base their case in reality.
By Catherine Nyomenda2 years ago in Poets
Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts5 days ago in Longevity
Comments (2)
You are so strong! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Deep words! Loved it!