The Tarpit of the Train Station
by Johnathan Riley
The Tarpit of the Train Station
On steel parallels and shallow
earth the rats know life
as it is: patterned, mildly
irregular, and rotting.
They stand around the low
brush of autumn like cavities
in a dog’s mouth.
Their sound is hard
to place but the lights
from the parking lot
are just bright enough
to guide them.
So, when the rat’s eyes strain
towards the edge of the light
the remains of something important
comes towards them: a 92’ Town Car,
grey, gasping for air, and missing
the train. The world unfurls in low light,
and I, the Rat King, await my carriage.
About the Creator
Johnathan Riley
Writing is hard
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Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
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Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
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Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
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Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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Comments (31)
Congratulations!!!
Congrats great piece.
Congratulations on winning! I enjoyed the imagery in your words and even the "rat doodle".
Congratulations 🎉 Excellent write!
Congratulations...
Beautifully descriptive. An intriguing poem.
Great writing- what inspired you? And of course a big Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
This was one of the most unique poems I’ve read in a long time! I found myself reading sections of it over and over trying to picture the scene. Nicely done and congratulations!
super
Well done
Very very interesting!
Nice Poem 💙😉👍 Congratulations on your win 🎉 💯✨
Congratulations on your win! Vivid poem!
Wow, I saw this whole thing in my head without a beat! Congratulations on your award. I’m very intrigued by your structure.
Congratulations! <3
Congratulations!
Congratulations! This imagery was what caught my attention, and I couldn't stop reading. Good job Johnathan, look forward to reading more!
Congrats Johnathan! 👏👏👏 Hearted and subscribed.
Nicely done. I am fascinated by the word "Tarpit" for some reason now. Congratulations!
I am always jealous of those with artistic talents. I love the rat. It's just squiggles, but it is obviously a rat. I really think I could draw like that. Am sure gonna try. Your poem is written in abstract and quite imaginative. I can see why you won. Sometimes it's not the intent of the poem, but the heart of the poem that catches the eyes and ears. There is uncommom in the way it is presented. Congrats.
Innovation on the prompt. I like the mix of grittiness and prose. Congratulations on the win!
This is fantastic! Such gritty imagery, such beautiful prose, and a little bit of whimsy thrown in for good measure. Loved it. Congrats on a well-earned first place, Johnathan!
I liked this one. Wish I had thought of it... Rats! ;)
Oh the imagery in this! I love the fact that you also used your own illustration for this piece. Highly original and congratulations on First Place in the challenge! ❤️'d and subscribed!
the meatphors and imagery in this piece are wonderful ! Congratulations!