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The Statistic

Will I ever be anything else?

By BrettNotGregPublished 2 years ago 1 min read
Top Story - May 2024
The Statistic
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

I can’t move today.

Why is this cycle so vicious? Every potentially meaningful moment is promptly thrown away.

Will I be a statistic?

Will I finally discover the outlet that makes my body no longer crave this? My heart no longer miss this?

It is misery, and physically, my body is blistering.

How much further embarrassment do I have to endure to finally realize the answer? It’s as if there’s absolutely no cure.

I wish I were stronger than this.

I’ve cried more than enough tears to fill up those glasses that are usually filled with the stuff that makes the memories no longer exist.

Everything is an idea. There are no hopes, no dreams, no goals…

…just skills that are never applied, talent that’s wasted and yet another tortured soul.

I do not want to be another number.

Mental Healthsad poetry

About the Creator

BrettNotGreg

-Thirty-something enigma with a wide spectrum of interests.

-Heavily anchored in poetry.

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  • Tiffany Gordon5 months ago

    Prayers up 4 you for complete healing!

  • Rachel Robbins5 months ago

    This thoroughly deserved Top Story. Thank you for putting it out there. It reads a lot like a friend of mine's Facebook posts as he is working his way through Long Covid and the depression it is causing. I hope he and you both know you are more than a statistic.

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  • Pauline Fountainabout a year ago

    ‘I can’t move today. * Will I be a statistic? * I wish I were stronger than this. * There are no hopes, no dreams, no goals…’ * I do not want to be another number. * I know and feel this. But I’m not you and every person’s experience with mental illness is different. I have picked the lines above that for me resonate in a special way - the profound suffering, guilt, fear but also insight. ‘The cruel memory of insight’ - I have learned to reframe and use well now (sometimes!) to feel an episode coming. I would never presume to tell you how to make yourself feel better or distract yourself. That’s kinda useless hey, with the weight of the bricks on your chest and with the psychomotor retardarion - the attempts to walk with ‘cement boots’ through molasses. But I sincerely thank you. A gift we can give to each others is truth telling and authentistity. I’m so happy, like me, you’re back from a hiatus. And for both of us. Keep writing because you are worthy, you’ve earned it and the Vocal+ community will cherish. A most worthy TS! Pauline 🌸

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  • Sandra Tena2 years ago

    This is so powerful, moving and relatable 💜 A very well-deserved top story x

  • Sandra Tena2 years ago

    This is so powerful, moving and relatable 💜 A very well-deserved top story x

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