I left.

In the midst of all of the chaos, I left you behind.

At your most vulnerable point, when you needed me the most, I packed my shit and I left. It was one of the most important decisions I’ve ever made. I wish I’d had more time to think about what to say in the short note I left, but I had no idea how long you’d be distracted on that work call.

My heart raced and I struggled to breathe as I packed everything that I possibly could into one single bag and swiftly made my way out of the door and to the bus stop. I had nowhere to go, but I could no longer stay.

I am aware that you’ll likely never see things from my perspective, or understand why I abruptly departed, leaving behind over twenty years of friendship… and I’m okay with that, truly.

I could no longer be on the receiving end of your desire to manipulate and control another. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions. Things were working out the exact opposite as they were supposed to, and it was entirely your fault.

Not to say that I do not wish you the absolute best, because I do. My words may seem as harsh and confusing as my actions, but they were all entirely necessary.

I miss that city, and even managed to survive on my own for several months. I will eventually go back, once I’ve done some healing.

I left you behind, and now I am free.