the process

with desire to transform, i step into a humble healing cocoon

and enter nostalgic slumber

snuggling all that i am, smooching all that i was.

inviting the muddy sludge of shame to liquify, i begin to wonder...

what might happen, without that sticky muck?

without that cloying fear?

who am i when i allow romance, and the color of the day

to filter through the delicate, silk walls of this cocoon?

engulfed in the yellow light of protection, i rustle up sleepy dreams of a me who is free.

and i paint, and shine and share

and i taste, and cry, and allow rivers of feeling

to flood through the stagnant spaces in my body

and i sow seeds for gardens of abundance, and there is enough for everyone.

the dreams increase in vividity, each one becoming a flower petal of a different color

pressure builds as my cocoon fills with bouncing, rainbow fluff

lemon zest, liquid sun flows through my new veins, shining into every shadow

like a collection of laughter long stifled, like a firework just reaching it’s peak in the night sky,

i burst from my cocoon, airborne and eager

into a wide open SPACE, full of living things

but more than enough room for me.

soaring up to canopies, i let the gently swaying leaves move me

i drift down to forest floor, i land with grace, and find my dancing feet.

surrounded by mirrors, i ripple into groove, admiring my each and every move

smiling up to the bright blue sky, i breathe in fullness, as the softest, silliest pinks wrap me in a comfortable mist of vulnerability.

as my armpit hairs wave in the breeze, as my limbs shimmy and shake along with the trees,

i stomp my feet on the dank brown earth in time, waking the worms,

tuning in to the twisting networks of subterranean fungi.

am i a creature of the soil? the water? the sun? the moon?

if i expand my golden center to integrate the highest potential of each

into a warm, grounded reality,

then all are true.

my rhythms intertwine with the beatings of every being around me,

as we are effortlessly permeable, exchanging and accepting all that is within.

i stay here a while, alive and expanding

until the inevitable contraction, when it is once again time to examine how i have been shaped.