the pace of stillness

the months have been long

and my head is still spinning

and it continues to spin

a never-ending circus

filled with cars, clowns, and confetti

it’s enough to tire anyone

but it’s finally getting to me

and i don’t know how much further I can endure it

but you come

and you rescue me out of my restlessness

with a sweep to my knees, im off my feet again

gently, you take me away

and you bring out of the maddening crowds into a soft forest glade

i am stopped

you have my attention

all i know is i am stopped

and that you have my attention

you make me quiet my soul until all I hear is you

the love-whispers in the trees, the honey-like song of the birds, the pure-cleansing of a gentle mist

i sit

and I wait

until my whole self is absorbed and unsatisfied with not having more of you

until I smell, sense, and see is you

but I hate-to-admit it, im distracted

and i hate to admit it, but you seldom are my first thought, my first love

even in the midst of the circus

my soul wrestles to join the circusing chaos the world plays

without end

and so, in this moment i am glad you have distracted me

but I know I can’t stay here

though I know the call in my heart beckons me to never leave

sorrow enters the corners of my tired, creased eyes

although the morning shall steal me away like a thief

tonight, i will breathe you in as much as I can

before the chaos comes

and drags me back into the rapids of responsibilities and sorrow

with decisions i don’t have the courage to make

and people I can never please