The Organizer
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She sat at the table, her hands wrapped around a coffee cup, laughing about something she'd seen at work and the next thing she knew, she'd been seen.
The discerner, who "peeks" into hearts and souls, had been comfortably invisible since childhood, and now someone caught a glimpse of her.
Unbelievable.
She was an expert organizer, meticulously placing experiences into files by the year, month, day, hour and minute it happened, with the feelings securely secured in zippered sub-files. Then they were carefully stacked and neatly placed in a large room under lock and key. There was no reason to go in there for anything so the key was lost, probably tossed, long ago.
Then she noticed the door open, and saw someone reading something in the distance. She froze from panic, but it was too late- he was reading something near the back wall. He had his back to her, but he knew she was there, and he snapped the folder closed quickly as she stared on in disbelief. How did he get in? The key was long gone... or was it? Had she left it somewhere? She retraced her steps with a fine-toothed comb and came up empty-handed, so she did it again. And again. This just wasn't possible, by any stretch of the imagination. And yet, here he was, reading stuff about her...
Wow.
Miss Invincible, blinded by the glare of the spotlight. Miss Independent, crippled by an escaped feeling. Miss Confident, chopped off at the knees by a zippered file. Miss Put-Together unraveled by an open door.
Great.
A bandaid accidentally pulled off exposed a gaping wound that looked like it needed stitches- a lot of stitches. Funny thing is, it didn't hurt. She didn't even feel it.She had forgotten it was even there.
But that bandaid coming off hurt like Hell.
All she remembers is a beautiful sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. And there she was, standing in the rain.
But guess what? She'll be okay. Better than okay, actually.
Maybe it's time to clean out that room .
+++
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
II Timothy 1:7 NJJV
About the Creator
Colleen Walters
Just a girl who likes to write poems, usually inspired by events and people in my Florida life.. Always be you, because you are awesome. You matter. You are enough.. ❤️
You can find me also on Facebook & Messenger and Discord
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Absolute Zero
My ambitious maw couldn't keep me warm anymore. You were the wolfhound that kept attacking it to sustain yourself. Everything you could steal, you did no matter how insignificant. You siphoned my life in small increments in order to achieve a sense of regularity. It was all for appearance's sake. You were the rat king my tail kept getting attached to. I would scurry away but all to no avail. I wallowed in compromise and misery in an attempt to be less for you. I was driven but you were threatened by anything resembling intelligence. You loved me being incomplete. I pretended to be deaf so you could speak for me. I chose silence so you could choose for me instead. I learned to surrender because you felt some desperate need to be in command. My opinion of you continued to shrink. You were never the almighty one you convinced yourself you were. It's amazing how fragile your masculinity was so you had to take my dignity to supplement. I was the undead carcass you kept feeding on. You couldn't find your own food source so you used me for your appetite. You refused to find shelter so I became your haven at the expense of myself. You somehow always knew better, it seemed. Like there was written proof somewhere out there in the cosmos that you were the superior one. I was the deluded victim you had to subjugate and keep isolated. You made it your life's mission to devalue me. You did everything to justify your abusive and callous behavior. You were always my biggest disappointment, You made sure I didn't deserve better. I had to worship you because you lived off of recognition. I was kept hostage for 15 years while you remained drunk off of my tears. I was the aberration I sought but could never enforce. You were the unwelcome savior that felt compelled to trap me. I was held captive and was forced to enjoy it. I soared beyond your limitations but you punished me for that. My entropy was at always at your mercy. You wanted me at my lowest, at absolute zero. My energy was at your disposal. I was a dedicated zombie that couldn't breathe without your permission. I was forever caught in your perpetual undertow. What would it mean to prosper? What would it feel like to reclaim my power? I was the walking dead you feared would rise against you one day. I wasn't willing to join you at your subterranean level. My melancholy is no longer my friend. I have slowly ascended to the height I always pictured myself achieving. My endeavors refuse to be frigid and tepid. You are banished to the frozen exteriors of my mind. Where polar ice and bleak extremities knew me so well. I was once at absolute zero. I was a former version of myself you kept hidden for fear of losing to. I'm not who I used to be. I am allowed to evolve beyond arctic cold. I'm thawing out, slowly but surely. The temperature is rising and so am I. My heat obliterated you because you kept stripping me of it. I was a motionless entity, encased in marble glacier, a reminder of all that I had dreamt of. Those dreams have returned. They have bestowed their value unto me once more. I'm not your captive anymore. I've been diminished long enough. Go be one with your beloved entropy. My energy cannot be destroyed nor removed anymore. You have no more influence over me anymore
By Anna Torres6 days ago in Poets
Comments (4)
hallo
The closing verse from Timothy provides a reassuring reminder of strength and resilience. Thank you for sharing such a reflective piece.
hallo
Congratulations on a Top Story! I loved the verse at the end ❤