The Ordinary Use of Force

PUBLIC NOTICE:

Regarding the Ordinary Use of Force

Issued during an arctic wave in which water lines stiffen, and kitchens become furnaces.

1. Effective immediately, the following language will be treated as contraband inside a home.

• Any question that uses trust as a setup and shame as a punchline.
• Any pet name or honorific shaped like an animal with a blade.
• Any sentence that pretends to ask but really just waits for your self betrayal.
• Any sentence that asks you to dress up your humiliation and pretend it's a gift.
• Any agreement where one person gets off and the other gets gutted.

2. A consent system remains in force.

• Green means proceed.
• Yellow means slow.
• Red means stop.
• A stop stands on its own.
• A stop requires respect, then care, then a plan.
• Violent partners ignore red.
• Violent states paint themselves in it and wear it as a hat.
• Consent is not submission.
• Safe words don't apply to tear gas.

3. A new policy has emerged across America.

• Federal agents arrive in ordinary neighborhoods.
• Vans idle with engines running.
• Doors open.
• Families rehearse their sentences.
• Some call it enforcement.
• Some call it order.
• Some lower their eyes.

4. A citizen filming on a street in America falls and does not rise.

• Video circulates.
• Statements circulate.
• The footage is reviewed frame by frame.
• A court orders evidence preserved.
• Unions demand withdrawal.
• The day continues.

5. Inside the smaller republic of a relationship, the same machinery appears.

• A boundary is spoken.
• The air changes.
• Blame begins to allocate itself like rations.
• Repair becomes conditional.
• Communication becomes scheduled.
• One daily check in.
• One permission slip for tenderness.

6. Residents are advised to watch for these signs of escalation.

• A partner treats pain as an inconvenience.
• A partner treats anger as the whole story.
• A partner treats accountability as a humiliation he refuses to wear.
• A partner uses silence the way some governments use curfews.
• A partner frames control as love, reinforcing those who don't resist don't get hurt.

7. Guidance for civilians who still love each other.

• Set a meeting with a written agenda.
• Bring three agreements, each measurable.
• No degradation.
• No weight talk.
• No testing.
• A pause word that ends discussion on impact and begins care.
• A repair script that begins with ownership, then apology, then prevention.
• A limit on post conflict texting, followed by face to face conversation.

8. Closing statement.

• In cold weather, pipes split from pressure.
• In political weather, communities split from fear.
• In private weather, a heart splits from one sentence that was never meant for it.

This notice remains posted until further repair.