The Old Lady of Dublin

There was once an old lady in Dublin

Who served the finest ale with bubblin’

So I went to make her mine

And she put my clothes on the line

Then sent me to Lublin.

*

As I was in Lublin, I saw a man,

Who was eating beans from a can

He said he had a nine-foot cat,

That could take me to the mat.

Of him, I wasn’t a fan.

*

So back to Dublin, I did go.

I was wishing for a faster tidal flow.

What I got was a case of rickets.

And a couple of loitering tickets.

But at least when I make water, it doesn’t glow.