The Nights Glow

We used to watch the glow of the moon,

the soft twinkle of the stars,

our first kiss was on this porch,

from way after dark.

You held my hand against the wall,

pressed against that old lantern

the glow of it radiating warmth,

nothing compared to the touch of you.

Your warmth,

your light,

your calming presence,

telling me everything was all right.

She took her first steps right here,

She fell against that very board.

Don't you remember?

For years and years, I've watched that light,

thinking of every moment,

the laughter, the tears

the fights, and the hopeful moon.

Then I remembered it all too well,

the drinking and the empty bottles,

broken glass stuck between boards.

I wondered for years how you did it,

how you could live with yourself.

Do you not remember the bruises?

first on my neck,

then on hers.

Do you not remember the locked doors?

the shouts and tears of fear.

Do you not remember?

This light used to shine,

and show the glow of the world,

the beautiful stars,

the good times,

the warmth left in the world,

but that light faded with you.

This light was all we had,

and as the years passed, it suffocated,

taken out by the reality of the world.

I have always wondered one thing.

Something about this light.

I wondered on every rough night,

If it ever blinded the pain too well,

If it ever made you forget your mistakes,

If it ever took away your consequences,

I just wondered,

If it ever did to you what it did to me.

So I wanted to give you a memory,

one of your own, stuck between the boards.

The memory of the day that we took our first steps,

not you, just me and her.

Right through the door,

never looking back.

I slashed your tires,

all four of them,

and DAM STRAIGHT,

I took a sledgehammer to that lantern.

The one that blinded me for too long with deceit.

So enjoy the broken glass,

the steps,

the glow of the moon and stars.

I know I will.