...the next room...

….

he waits silently

eyes full of compassion

appraising me

determining my sanity

waiting for my answer

he wears a kind smile

with his long white coat

and patience

patients?

my mind trails away yet again

trying to describe

my situation

without sounding mad

…..

parched

i desperately wanted a drink

but when i lifted the glass toward my lips

it slipped through my fingers

falling

shattering

my daughter rushed in

"how did this happen?"

but she did not look at me

"were you up on the counter again,

you naughty kitty?"

she didn't clean up the broken glass

NO

she picked up the cat,

my cat

and sobbed into its white fur

she used to hate that cat

i don't remember coming here

i was at home

wasn't i?

……

he reaches over with a gentle hand

seeing my confusion

my pain

he doesn't ask again

he just waits, patting my hand softly

each tap brushes away the fog

breaks apart the cobwebs

i look for the answer

…..

i wanted leave

the walls felt stifling

and i desperately needed to feel the sun

warming my chilled skin

i tried to open the door

but it just rattled on its hinges

laughing at my ineptitude

my husband brushed me aside as though

nothing more than a shadow

threw open the door and stepped out

"there's no one there

it must be the wind"

he spoke to no one

certainly not me

then for no reason

he shouted at the wind

screaming in rage

screaming my name

but i could not answer

….

he’s still waiting

i see tears in his eyes

he encourages me

a gentle squeeze of his hand

i'm sifting through the madness

trying to find my voice

my voice?

What's happened to my voice?

….

my grandchildren raced, giggling

the sound rippling through the air

they seemed to *sparkle* in the sunshine

i called out their names

but my voice was no more than a light breeze

ruffling their hair as it flew by

the youngest paused

turning her head to look toward me

but her eyes didn’t linger

and she turned back to her parents

my son and his wife weren't smiling

dread and sorrow lined their faces

as they gathered the children

preparing

to shatter their innocence

i can't hear them

but i see their tears

i call to them again

but the sound vanishes

as soon as it leaves my lips

….

i think i know now

the secret he wants me to tell

but i can't

if i say it aloud

will that make it true?

"doctor, i'm afraid something’s terribly wrong"

"I'm not a doctor,

but I am here to help you"

He smiles

a radiant smile that drapes me

in warmth

"there's nothing wrong, my child

it's just time to take you home"

I know Him now

I'm not scared or confused

as I take His hand

and He leads me into the next room

….