'𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓟𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮'

I left something, didn’t I?

What else could explain

this weight I carry but cannot name?

My mind rushes through all I've held,

and all the time that i've let slip by.

*

It lands on a moment - a goodbye,

to a friend of eight long years.

We stood beneath a beating sun,

not a final farewell, no, not quite -

but a parting that carried

no promise of another hello.

*

I blink, and she’s gone - replaced by snow.

Now, a child stands in wonder at winter’s hush,

her tongue, blue from stolen sweets, stuck out to catch the falling flakes.

She wears wellies and a strawberry coat,

a grin stitched wide across her chubby-cheeked face.

*

She left as quickly as the last, tears flooding her place.

The panic of loss sharper now, clearer than before.

Perhaps this was the moment I lost my missing piece.

Before me, a girl tore through the familiar,

her dearest thing gone, salt of sorrow streaking red cheeks

Her breath quick and shallow, pure dread in each ragged gasp

*

The picture changes again, ever moving in my mind's grasp

She was with her once-close friends under pouring skies

The gloom had no affect on them, they broke into song

and danced a dance one would expect to see under morning sun

It was a feeling of pure freedom and happiness, albeit fleeting

*

Their performance gives way for a first meeting

The beginning of a girl who'd change my life

We'd meld and join together until we couldn't one from the other

Until people stumbled over words after mixing up our names

Until we could be considered one,

the same, from our handwriting to the way we speak.

My happier half.

*

I stared at this girl, i knew she'd soon be gone

Swept away by either the slow but sudden pain of drifting,

or my own hands, forcing distance until it became as natural as breathing

Since having a happier half of you can be painful if it's physically separate

and jealousy can stem from purest of roots.

...I glance back over my shoulder

*

I gazed at the girl i was, things change once you're older

She was happier, no matter what sky she was under

she was younger, wonder-filled and naïve.

And then realised my missing piece was not a tangible thing

It wasn't a treasured thing, lost friend or dormant feeling

In fact, it's not a 'thing'

It was simply growing up.

Notes:

I just felt like switching things up from the whole 'Sunshine Gold Was Her Soul' bundle I’ve been working through. Anyway, thanks a ton for reading!