The Masked Hero – SHITE MAN!

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The Masked Hero – SHITE MAN! And His Sidekick Macho Toddler!!

By

Ross E F Lombardi

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Oh, look it’s The Shite Signal!

<singing>: “Poopy, poopy, poopy, poopy, SHITE MAN!”

Quick Macho Toddler! - To the Shite Pole!

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What is it Commissioner Bordum?

The officer replies,

“It is your arch enemy Shite Man!” – “The villain, Real Self!”

He has an evil plan to make you somehow admit you love the lass!

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You need to find his dire fiend and lock him away in the ‘Back of Your Mind Asylum’

But how does he keep escaping?

I can watch him all the time 24/7!?

I am too busy trying to keep patrolling the city single and free

While pretending that it makes me happy!

We must not let that Real Self fulfil their diabolical plan!

We must keep up the macho shite to my mates!

So, how does he keep escaping?

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Commissioner Bordum speaks

“I thought you were the world’s greatest crime-fighting detective! Shite Man!”

“You keep playing and saying a big game,”

“If you don’t love the Lass,”

“THEN you need to tell your traitorous eyes that!”

“Every time you look at her!”

“Realself escapes!”

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“And – anyway Shite Man!”

“Who the fuck are you trying to impress anyway with all that crap!”

“You are clearly in love! - You dumb ass!”

“That does NOT make you a lesser person! - You fucking idiot!”

“It makes you a real person”

“You ARE Realself!”

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<singing> Duh Duh Duh!

IT’S A PLOT TWIST FOLKS!

A super obvious one – that we all spotted a mile away!

Everyone saw it!

Well, Everyone but Shite Man, Apparently!

But it is still technically a plot twist!

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The brightly dressed Macho Toddler shouts

“Watch out Shite Man!”

“It’s a trap!”

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Shite Man prepares to defend himself…

Although he is not quite sure who the enemy is…

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Commissioner Bordum slowly narrows his eyes,

“Oh, for fucks sake!” He says,

Turns off the Shite Signal illuminating the night sky,

“Really?”

“You're still travelling around with this silly twat!?”

Narrows his eyes,

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Macho Toddler challenges:

“But THIS is Blokey!”

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Commissioner Bordum storms over in rage…

Old trench coat clapping in the breeze…

And kicks Macho Toddler off the building,

As if he were a spartan leader kicking a messenger down a pit…

“This is NOT Blokey”

“THIS IS BULL SHIT!”

<SLPAT!>

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Let’s lose the silly mask!

How about we just keep Realself Free from now on,

Just own up to the fact that you love that woman..

And bloody well Admit, that you want only her!

For Fucks Sake – You tool!

Let yourself be just fucking happy! – For once!

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