The Love of Callisto

The Love of Callisto

I read your mind

but not enough to

avoid making

you lose it.

I feel your

tense shoulders

your aching stomach

the electricity

pulsing through each

strand of hair

on guard.

I want your peace,

oh wanderer

how can I give it to you?

Asking is too much

to ask for

I should Know.

I Should Know

I Should Know

but I don’t.

My lip quivers

because this

slushy brain

is swirling

my words mean nothing

they are sharpened

into daggers

poised to

cut you down,

even when

I throw

flowers

or sticks.

I’m still learning

what language is

still learning how your

brain absorbs

your world

still learning

how my face

is pictured in

your mind.

I’m terrified

to think

how you hold

my image

in the fire

I sweat bullets

not because

I’m a liar

but the flames

are branding my skin

and I’m

Terrified to react

terrified to engage

if my meaningless

practice quips

are stolen

broken down

to elements

and rearranged

to cause you pain.

Defensiveness

is gaslighting

a shield can break

through skull and organ

if used incorrectly.

But how do I scream

I love you

and those words

still hold weight,

act as a foundation?

Ive been digging and digging

desperate to build

but the top stone cannot

be laid until

concrete is poured

into this hole.

At Least I Have Stopped

Digging.

Unrelatable

as you consider yourself

Makes you all the more

and I know

it is protection

I know the way

you hold yourself

and react

is a guard

posted at her watch

lighting the warning

war

furnace if

she see’s a shadow walking

to the wall

even if it is just mist

you have to be prepared

you have to arm yourself

it was too easily lost before

when you did not.

Finally, a life

must be protected at all cost

finally a love

but who loves another, too.

I have no desire

to be you

in her arms

in the night

in the city

hand in hand

My greatest desire

is to forge

the weapons by your side

to tie each other’s

sheath and

sharpen each other’s sword.

It is inconceivable

I’m sure

as you’ve known

others

and you’ve known

yourself

and you’ve known

Apollo

in his wrath.

Oh Callisto,

A goddess in her right

Your place is not

Apollo shaped

it is molded

from your form

and only you can

fit with ease

Independent of a cast

that could be disintegrated

in warm waters

crafted of silver

gold

gems

flowers

and stars

Refined by the

magma of tartarus

and reinforced

with years of biting

your own lip.

I beg of you,

Callisto,

do not see

the sea foam

and think it is rabid

for your blood

do not see

the destructive wake

of a scared boy

and consider

it is your fault

or your burden

or your fear.

Loyalty to Artemis

is Loyalty to Callisto

I, too, punish Zeus

for his misdeeds

towards you

I aim my bow

take up my quiver

at those who

nip your heels

who

hold you down

despite any

previous attachment.

Why wouldn’t I?

Heart aches

for words

your tight lipped

smile refuses to give

but I need

in order

to know you.

The stakes are too high

for the forced bond

we must braid together

to unravel

willingly,

hold fast

the knots

and I will too

I will anyway

but not if

you desire

for me

to cast it aside.

Love Always, oh huntress

follow your doctrine

and I will, too

I will regardless

even if you cut me

down

Take these words

and see them as they are

truly

from my heart

unearthed from

a desire for peace

even though

I am unsure what that is

we can build it

define it

together

It is the only way

we can hold fast to

whom we both love

and form a

sacred love

between us

too.