the life and years the locusts have eaten
for Lostish the unofficial poetry challenge
it happens sometimes I awaken so strangely
I do not remember where I am
lost in a once familiar space
the reassuring touch of the familiar warped by absence of memory
...
the orientation of the room
the weight of the bed clothes
the placement of windows and furniture
all seemingly out of place
...
intervening decades retreat to a great emotional distance
like life lived in a fairy dream
an event once remembered with complete detachment
reviving with all its former power in the darkness
...
my forgotten self-rises from silken mists
the present fading from time and remembrance
deep and forgotten feeling breaching
the phantom stillness
...
I fear the reckoning
as a voice deep within
shouts with appalling fury, its once forgotten
wounds calcified within the marrow of the bone
...
it does not return to mind easily
save a terrible magic stir it from its deep slumber
awakening when unlooked and unbidden
crying out of an emotional void
...
but drifting between wakefulness and sleep
I am too exhausted to remember further
some mystic power drawing me hypnotically downward
semi-consciousness descending with terrifying speed
...
its weight presses down on my chest with such force
that my surroundings dematerialize
the loss of waking perception coinage for a passage instantly forgotten
and followed by radically altered environs
...
I do not pause to consider
my abrupt departure from my bed
or whisper to myself
this is only dream
...
one moment I lay within clinging bedclothes
and in the next you are with me as if never parted
your eyes so vivid and amethyst
I stare in silent wonder at your youthful features
...
you ask me
have you ever wondered if life is just a dream?
your alabaster beauty a lasting, latent image
seared in the retina of memory
...
I do not express my love
or hold your warm flesh entwined with mine.
in terrified silence I think
you are the dream
...
but I do not speak
a wave of heat passing through my chest
I do not act
darkness sweeping like a storm across my eyes
...
you are the one
who breaks the sacred wall of silence
reaching gently outward
your hands pulling me into your tender embrace
...
to feel the strong beating of your heart
your warm cheek pressing softly against mine
and we begin to slowly rock
cradled in one another’s arms
...
if I could
I would prolong this embrace to the grave
but the magic shatters when you whisper remember me
remember you?
...
I would give anything for one true memory
give anything to remember
the lightest touch of your hand
or a lock of your hair brushing against my cheek
...
awakened by my longing
the first dull gleaming of morning creeps into the room
and with it the familiar paralyzing numbness
the room brightening
...
I begin the retreat back into my amnesia
the awe of memories reborn
in the darkness quietly forgotten
the dreaming stranger disappearing with the dawning
...
how can I believe in remembered emotion when it so suddenly departs?
the last vestige of feeling for you slipping back into the past
I wonder if I might defy time and begin anew
restoring the life and years the locusts have eaten
...
filling the blank spaces of my memories
with symbols and metaphors still haunting my dreams
restoring clarity and color to the sepia tones of the past
infusing with emotion events that long ago lost their power to move
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About the Creator
John Cox
Twisted teller of mind bending tales. I never met a myth I didn't love or a subject that I couldn't twist out of joint. I have a little something for almost everyone here. Cept AI. Aint got none of that.
Comments (19)
Why such beautiful feeling have to end?
Oh yes... there is so much I relate to... doesn't help that I've moved a lot in the last 7 years. Bedrooms are strange.
WOW. Can't believe I'm just getting to reading this piece now- this is an absolute saga of emotion that you lead us through, John! Vivid images and raw feelings emerge in every stanza, as the story of the poem takes us through a warm nostalgic past, a cold, dissociative present, and an uncertain future. Bravo, my friend! Thank you so much for this stellar entry and for joining in the challenge!
Wow!😮 Amazing poem!✅ my favourite verse: “you ask me have you ever wondered if life is just a dream? your alabaster beauty a lasting, latent image seared in the retina of memory”💖
The ghosts of the past ever-present, the ghosts of the present fading into the past! Well-wrought, John!
John, you set up the scene with all the details and telling words (amnesia, semi-conscious, dematerialize, seared) and then at the end, my favorite part you say: "I wonder if I might defy time and begin anew restoring the life and years the locusts have eaten filling the blank spaces of my memories with symbols and metaphors still haunting my dreams restoring clarity and color to the sepia tones of the past infusing with emotion events that long ago lost their power to move" restoring clarity to the sepia tones of the past - well done!
I also got strong dementia vibes from this, but I love that it works on different levels and you can approach it in different ways, like a Dali picture... And it's just as powerful each time. I loved "my forgotten self-rises from silken mist" - what an image
My God, this is something special. Feels like a longing for someone who's no longer there, but also, in certain spaces, reminds me of a person suffering with dementia. That second part of my comment is likely not what you intended, but I can't help but think of the day that my Mom asked my brother his name, and her response when he answered - the way she repeated the name, smiled and reached for him. We could tell, she thought he was our father, like she slipped 60 years back in time. This was excellent, John. Sorry for the rambling comment.
This was such a well woven emotional journey. So surreal and with the constant tension like the "did I miscount the stairs and my foot is about to fall through empty space?" sort of feeling made this such a gripping read. Very well done, John.
A poem to bring tears to one's eyes.
I find your poetry really beautiful and poignant. It's strange how experiences mix with memories and dreams and then we can't tell them apart. Also it's a great entry to the challenge, good luck!
this is just sublime, John! I love how deep it goes and how reading it, we get lost in your masterfully crafted descriptions! it had a powerfully uneasy feling to it and reminded me of times when Ive hazily awoken in the quiest dark of the night and have a real lack of fight and willpower or sense of where i am. i may be wrong... that longing too feels so potent, grabbed me... like a longlost identity or period of time or may be person! definite Poe feel for me and one i will return to and think about for some time!
I read this earlier it could not comment, needed to read it again. To me it reads like a person going insane, reality is on the edge of thought but blends with dreams or deluded thoughts. Let me know if I’m on the right track. I just know it was an uneasy feeling while I read this. Perhaps like those who read the ‘Raven’ many years ago. It captivated me
Such longing in this poem! And pain caused by lack. Sad, John. Wistful. Painful.
Such an interesting story within this poem. I found myself entranced by the creative imagery and the wonder. -if I could I would prolong this embrace to the grave but the magic shatters when you whisper remember me remember you?- 😮
John, this is so deep and bittersweet. Beautiful, truly!
Oh my, that was so intense and emotional! You nailed this so perfectly!
how can I believe in remembered emotion when it so suddenly departs? Just so incredibly relatable And then, how to overcome that despair. This one stings, John. Is there anything you can’t write?
Such a deep and thought-provoking piece! The way it captures the blur between memory and dreams is really powerful. It makes you think about how much we hold onto and forget over time. Definitely one of those that sticks with you. Nice work!