The Lahey Effect

Well...

have another drink they said

have one for your load

have one for yourself they said

then have one for the road

so i had another drink

and then i had one more

no way i was gonna be able to drive

so i had another four

i surrendered my keys to a random stranger

and made my way back to the bar

slurry of word and wobbly of step

and back for another jar

have another drink they said

as they slapped me on the back

i had a whisky and a beer

and a coupla cans of pre-mixed jack

So...

drunk as a skunk

crissed as a picket

three sheets to the wind

goodbye sober day

in deed

i called my friends cunts

i called some cunts friends

it was then they cut me off

and i was asked

politely to leave

And now...

i wanna fall over

i wanna kebab

i wanna light the same cigarette ten fuckin times

i wanna stumble

i wanna a curry

i wanna hug a stray cat

i wanna hug em all

i wanna pay outrageously for very mediocre pizza by the slice

i wanna piss on the toes of my shoes

i wanna dance in the street

i wanna howl at the moon

i wanna puke in the gutter and then marvel at the presence of all the diced bright orange carrot pieces i never ate

i wanna waltz with lampposts

i wanna jump in a hedge

i wanna kick letter boxes

i wanna push over bins

i wanna wake people up

i wanna yell and scream

i wanna go to sleep

but mostly i just

i wanna go home

i wanna rest my head

all those bevy’s

have caught up with me

i wanna go to bed

I know...

i know it’s gonna spin around

soon as i lay down

and close

and close my eyes

that chucky feeling in my gut again

i played the stupid game

and this is my

stupid prize