The In-Between

She looks out the window at her desk and takes a sip of coffee.

She wonders why things always look better when the seasons change.

Like a rose-colored film over the grayness that washed over her Summer.

She never wanted it to be gray, but sometimes that happens in the in-between.

The time of year, and life, that brings with it the emotional turmoil of turning 25.

The uncertainty, the instability.

The thoughts.

Being 25 feels old and gray, but not as gray as the Summer of it

when things change and she realizes her Summers will never, ever

get back to being full of rest, bike riding, and freedom.

It didn’t dawn on her until now.

Until this Summer.

The in-between of it all.

Now, as she looks out the window at the leaves falling off the trees,

she hopes that the in-between subsides this time next year.

That the upcoming winter months and holidays fill her days with meaning,

with more rose-colored moments.

Rosy enough to bring the balance back to that hateful in-between.

So she can just be

Beyond

and

Whole.