The Great Pudding Heist

Author's Note: This poem was originally published on Medium.com in the publication Prompts Galore, which offers writers a collection of original prompts from which to write stories and poems.

The poem was written for the prompt "The Great Pudding Heist," which stipulated: "In a world where dessert is the most valuable currency, and worth way more than gold and diamonds, a gang of quirky retirees plan the most ambitious heist of the century: stealing puddings from the National Museum of Royal Desserts. Armed with knitting needles and some old spy novels, they believe they will never get caught."

In a world where desserts were the most valued currency,

A gang of quirky old folks convened and conspired

To carry off the absolute heist of the century,

Now that they had the time, since they all were retired.

They were the best and brightest of their retirement village,

And though they weren’t exactly burglary experts,

A few James Bond novels had prepared them to pillage

The National Museum of Royal Desserts.

Black-clad guards covered the expo like a swarm of black beetles,

Armed with riot shields, tasers, batons, and tear gasses,

But the seniors were armed to the teeth with knitting needles,

And, with them, they summarily beat the guards’ asses.

Having looted the place of the treasure they desired,

They loaded up the Ford Mustang with fatty green stacks,

Only this wasn’t cash the old folks had acquired,

But a bounty of pistachio pudding packs.

They sped off, the victors of a battle well-fought,

But the arm of the law is, indeed, very long.

They were crazy to think they would never get caught–

They were crazy alright, but they actually weren’t wrong.