The forgotten

I finally lost what I've been fighting for today
the remembrance of you is all that remains
and that's until my memory begins it's end

Some parts of you were irreplaceable to me
like the ashes of my father In a glass heart
And my great grandmother's golden locket

These I shall never forget
That is where I find solace

I could have found a way to save you
to keep you around for safe keeping
but something odd struck me deeply

I had been so afraid of losing all of you
telling myself I could in no way survive it
and the truth is when I said that it felt true

Then the question came to the surface,
was holding onto you actually helping me?
The knowing answer was one I didn't like

Yes, a few cherished things sat all wrapped up
in pieces of old news, in their own special boxes,
but around them were miles of tears to rediscover

Old wounds not yet fully healed, barely scars
Seeing your faces again would take me down
more than the ghost stating your absence

For a long time I felt like I deserved the pain
then I felt like holding our moments helped
but finding old photos proved me very wrong

The failure seeped into my core, rotting away
at the only small pieces of good memories left
You have become both blessing and curse

Like a snake eating its tail until its fated end
this sickening cycle has kept me on its ride
faking my death pretending you were my life

But today I let go of the rope of desperation
to keep some semblance of you near me
Today I chose my future, the past not defining.