The Drill And The Dentest Woman

The Drill Sergeant

I booked it months ago, forgot I had

till the text came in and I went mad

searched the house for socks and pride

brushed too hard, nowhere to hide

She wore gloves like she meant war

called me ‘love’ and shut the door

asked me if I flossed last week

I lied so loud my molars squeaked

She tilted back that chair of doom

light so bright, it lit the room

“Just relax,” she said, all grace

while stabbing mirrors in my face

That suction straw, a greedy brat

sucked my tongue and half my hat

the drill kicked in, a banshee shriek

I aged ten years in half a week

She hummed while grinding off my soul

then poked my nerve and said, “All whole!”

charged me more than I’d paid for the car

“Book next time?” — I ran to the bar

So here’s my ode to dental flair

to rubber gloves and evil stares

my teeth are fine, my faith is shaken

and my wallet’s still on medication