The Dream That Would Undo Me
a confession kept beneath the silent dream
Last night as in too many nights before
I stood within a chapel built of dreams
its rafters made of things I never said
its pews lined with the versions I abandoned
They turned to watch me pass
all the men I could have been
Their eyes were full of knowing
Their silence punishment and in prayer
Pinned upon a board a name
I never dared to speak aloud
Still, it burned
And at the altar I saw myself
aged, hollowed waiting
He asked me what I’d come to bury
I said, Love
And as the word escaped
the doors behind him burst
and in came the flood
a river wide and velvet black
where memory has drowned for years
I stepped inside
and felt him there
The man I wanted
The man I would not name in daylight
The man I chose to lose
so, I could remain untouched
unchanged
unchallenged
His hand rose
forgiving me again
And again
I woke with his face pressed in my hands
as if I could still keep him
by hiding him
This is my truth
I loved him
And I let that love die
to survive the life, I was told to live
About the Creator
Tim Carmichael
Tim is an Appalachian poet and cookbook author. He writes about rural life, family, and the places he grew up around. His poetry and essays have appeared in Bloodroot and Coal Dust, his latest book.
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Comments (4)
Tc - Although I'm not a member of VSS I've been following your work and always appreciate the candor in your words. I've just written a 'Dream' story and wanted to mention it to you because I could relate to yours; I couldn't control it from coming out: 'Rita~Louise'. Best to you, Tim Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California 'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Village Community -
So sad that he would let the real him die. I hope this isn’t autobiographical. 🥹
This cuts to the very core. This is what unrequited love and loss look and feel like. I don't know what romance movies and books are playing at. They are filling people's heads with nonsense because the pain is real. And you captured it with a rawness that transfers from the page to the heart.
This poem is absolutely fantastic. The imagery is really resonating with my reality at the moment. I loved how you made the whole church a metaphor for emotions and images … another great poem mate x ❤️