The day I ignored the urging of my soul

I broke my own heart, I broke my own laws

Now I fixate on the one mistake I can never unmake:

When I passed you up, my life came to a pause

*

My soul's a crow, how he mourns when he caws

He speaks of a thirst I cannot hope to slake--

I broke my own heart, I broke my own laws

*

My heart's still a well, but empty it draws

I drank the bitter cup, no more sweetness shall I partake

When I passed you up, my life came to a pause

*

There's regret in my mouth, clenched tight in my jaws

I could have been brave, and soothed all your aches,

I broke my own heart, I broke my own laws

*

My guilt has grown teeth, my cowardice was the cause

I clung to the shore when I should have gladly drowned in your lake

When I passed you up, my life came to a pause

*

I would have loved you, and drank all your flaws

But here instead, another swallow of blame must I take

I broke my own heart, I broke my own laws

When I passed you up, my life came to a pause

***

***

***

Author's note:

I suppose writers and other artists might have lots of muses, but she's my recurring one. I tell myself I shied away from her out of duty, but mostly it came down to fear.

And now she's my constant what if.