The Colors in Me

A first generation,

The first gay in that generation;

The first physical rainbow flag

My yellow, blue and red family

Have loved since infancy.

The one who left so young;

The one who sprung into independence;

The one who clung to determination;

The one who proved time and time again;

The youngest one among them,

Had unstrung into their truth.

Every shade and shape

Found on me,

Brings forth a question

From the outsiders I meet.

Who are they?

The yellow in me

Flows like a calm, I carry deep;

In every aspect of my life,

It is recognized in me.

What are they?

The compassionate nature,

The inherent empathy;

The glaze in my eyes

I cannot hide;

When it has been so long

Since I’ve seen family.

Where are they from?

The blue in me

Is the three years I didn’t talk to Mami;

The five years I worried about Nani;

The ten years I skipped most holidays;

The weight in my heart to be so far,

When Karolina and I need to be apart.

What have they seen?

The red in me

At times, has been crimson

At times, has taken over my vison;

It is present every time I make a difficult decision,

It is persistent;

Every collision with loss,

Every incision at work,

Every revision to the plan,

I struggle with the red in me.

What do they know?

It is all these colors, you see?

These colors in me,

The ones I know and the ones I cannot see,

That make me unique.