The Club

THE CLUB

I was sent an invite to a club

And my ovaries said “Hell Yes!”

They peer-pressured my reasonable brain

Who agreed under duress.

My brain is smart. It knows what it likes.

Like sleep… and quiet and space.

It likes stimulating conversations

And for things to stay in their place.

The club I joined seemed great at first.

The posters looked divine.

It wasn’t until I paid the membership

That it put my sanity on the line.

First they took my body

And turned it into something new.

My boobs grew huge and then hit the floor

When they had nothing left to do.

The club never closed, the hours were mad.

You couldn’t even drink!

The staff were rude and unrelenting,

Forever pushing me to the brink.

My brain fizzled out from lack of sleep

And shrunk from all the noise.

The order that once stabilised it

Got lost amongst the toys.

The conversations that my brain once had

Seems were never meant to last.

Along came Elmo and Peppa Pig

Who put them firmly in the past.

My ovaries said nothing

In response to what they’d done.

Their blind eye turned away

Conveniently from all the “fun”.

My poor brain was at a loss.

It didn't know what to do.

It had nothing left in its membrane tank.

So it cracked itself in two.

After a while the staff eased off.

Not much… but just a smidge.

Some routine and sleep were wrangled in

And helped mend my brain inch by inch.

Eventually the club was a part of life.

The shock of it came to pass.

Don't get me wrong; it's still the most exhausting place

That'll kick you up the ass!

And when they sent a contract

For my membership to renew…

My brain looked up with tired eyes

At my ovaries on what to do.

My ovaries smiled and gave a wink.

My brain cried "Not this again!"

But before they could talk it through…

My heart had signed it with a pen.